So apparently this is news now. Are you read for it? Megan Fox says she cut a hole in her red carpet outfit to have sex with Machine Gun Kelly. 

If we're honest, we've probably all seen too much of MGK and Megan Fox. MGK desperately trying to be liked by teenage girls and Megan Fox trying to stay relevant - in what, personally is a deeply depraved attempt by joining up in some sort of fake relationship with the man who's face the world wishes they had slapped. I try to be unbiased with my reporting as you can tell.

Desperate couple do desperate things for attention


This, 'stunt' is just another part of their relationship we didn't care to see but just like their music, here it is. How will they ever top this one? Megan just revealed she cut a hole in one of her red carpet outfits to have sex with MGK whilst the pair were in Las Vegas for the Billboard Music Awards. I know, shocking, right? If you've reached Megan's age and not ripped some clothes you should be asking yourself some questions. 

Taking to Instagram to share the, err, news with her fans, Megan posted a series of photos and videos of the outfit in question – a bejwelled, blue cat suit – and a screenshot of a text with her stylist.

Oh look. The message in question: 
"Was this blue outfit expensive because we just cut a hole in the crotch so we could have sex"


Responding to perhaps the dumbest text she's ever received, the actor's stylist Maeve Reilly replies: "I hate you 😂😂😂. I'll fix it."
This content is imported from Instagram. If you're so inclinded to see more dumb news you can go look them up yourself. You won't need to though because it will find you. 

The 36-year-old, she's 36! Captioned the post: "An introvert in Vegas for three days during eclipse season… just SO much crying in the shower."

Whatever that means. Understandably, because you need to know this too, the texts sent Megan's fans wild in the comments section, with one person writing, "I am f**king dead." A second fan commented, "WHAT IS THAT TEXT!?", while a third said: "CUT A HOLE MEGAN??? CMON BABY."

Another fan joked, "Everything I know about this relationship has been completely against my will," as someone else simply put: "Fourth slide 😭😭."

Live and let live I say. But if she found a real man he might rip that flimsy piece of fabric off her instead of going to the kitchen searching for some scissors -- in the heat of the moment(!?) then carefully cutting presumably a small hole into it, without cutting the woman inside it. To top it off, the moment was so amazing that instead of just enjoying it, a 36 year old woman - post cum, again probably not. Posts this up on social media. 

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Irrelevant photo of irrelevant people kissing each other